Couples Therapy
in Durham Region
Award-winning couples therapy in Ajax & Oshawa. We specialize in helping couples to thrive based on attachment science and interpersonal psychotherapy. Practicing PACT, EFT, Gottman Method and Interpersonal Psychotherapy. Transform your relationship.
Book a free consultation or call (866) 982-3441.
Do You Feel Stuck in the Same Fight Over and Over?
Has the dynamic in your relationship changed?
Do you feel more like roommates than partners?
Are you having the same fight over and over?
Do you worry that you can't trust your partner?
Are you unsure if you should even stay together?
You're not alone in feeling this way. Right now, you might be lying awake at night wondering if it will ever get better—if you'll be stuck in this difficult, lonely relationship forever. You feel unheard and taken for granted, and no matter what you do, things might improve for a few weeks, but then you're right back where you started.
You find yourself thinking: "If I could just get them to see things my way, everything would be fixed." Or maybe: "If they would just stop complaining and appreciate me, everything would be fine."
A Typical Day Feels Like Walking on Eggshells
One of you starts the day not realizing there's a problem, the other is already anxious—wondering when the next blow-up will happen. There might be small talk throughout the day, but underneath there's fear about actually bringing up what's really wrong.
Then something small sets it off. Maybe it's about dishes or wiping down the counter, but suddenly you're arguing about the big stuff—feeling taken for granted, feeling criticized all the time. Now you're talking about how you never have sex anymore.
You go round and round but get nowhere. So you just stop. Maybe there's a few days of silence, or maybe you both pretend nothing happened. Either way, nothing actually gets fixed—and it's just a matter of time before it happens again.
You might be completely shut down and numb, or anxious and overthinking everything. You both feel lonely, resentful, and maybe hopeless. It's hard to sleep, sometimes hard to eat. You might have tension in your stomach or shoulders.
Your deepest wish? Just to be understood, supported, and loved exactly as you are.
With couples therapy, you can learn how to fight in ways that actually help instead of hurt your relationship. You can create a space where you're free to be yourself, where you feel safe being vulnerable and asking for what you need—and where you know how to show up for each other.
These Relationship Challenges are More Common Than You Think
Communication That Goes Nowhere
Poor communication is the #1 relationship problem worldwide. You're talking, but not getting through. Misunderstandings pile up, tone gets sharp, and suddenly you're on opposite teams.
Feeling Disconnected
You still care—but it feels like you've drifted apart. Nearly one in three long-term couples report feeling seriously unhappy at some point. The connection doesn't just disappear overnight; it fades when you stop really seeing each other.
Sex and Intimacy Issues
Desire changes, routines set in, stress takes over. About a third of couples say sex or physical affection is a major tension point—and it's usually less about technique and more about feeling emotionally connected.
Money and Who Does What
Whether it's bills, spending decisions, who does the chores, or who's carrying more of the mental load—fairness can start to feel really uneven. These everyday imbalances are often less about money and more about feeling appreciated.
Broken Trust
Trust issues—from keeping secrets to full-blown affairs—can rock your relationship to its core. But it is possible to rebuild trust with honesty, time, and the right support.
Stress, Work, and Mental Health
Sometimes it's not "us," it's life. Mental health struggles and burnout affect nearly half of Canadian couples. Relationships do better when partners learn to calm each other down instead of each dealing with stress alone.
Need to talk about it first?
We’re here for you. Schedule a consultation.
It Is Possible to Transform Your Relationship with Couples Therapy
We're All About Your Relationship
A lot of couples come to us feeling frustrated and even hopeless. We can help you feel hopeful again pretty quickly—and over time, help you build a relationship where you actually enjoy being together.
Understanding Your Patterns
Relationship problems are so common, and they usually follow the same pattern. Often one person pays more attention to the emotional temperature—wondering if they're really loved and safe. This person might say things like "you never..." or "why do you always..."
The other person feels like they're never good enough, like they're constantly being criticized. So when their partner reaches out, they pull away—which makes the anxious partner even more worried and alone. The cycle just keeps going, with one person trying to connect and the other person feeling attacked and withdrawing.
It's About Attachment—Not Just Communication
These patterns aren't random—they come from something called attachment. Here's the thing: attachment isn't just in your head—it's in your body. It affects you in ways you're not even aware of.
We help by working with your body's responses, understanding your attachment patterns, and teaching you specific ways to talk to each other that create safety instead of more conflict.
What "Secure-Functioning" Actually Means
This is our goal for every couple: a relationship where you both feel safe, you pay attention to each other's needs, you're fair with each other, you work together as a team, and you both give and receive equally. Basically, a relationship where you've got each other's backs.
Our Training Goes Deep
What makes us different is that we're specifically trained in the heavy-duty couples therapy approaches—not just general therapy that also sees couples sometimes. We're trained in methods like PACT, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Gottman Method—all designed specifically for relationships.
Plus, we're social workers, which means we get that your relationship doesn't exist in a vacuum. Work stress, family drama, money pressure, your cultural background—all of it affects your relationship, and we pay attention to all of it.
We also use other approaches when they're helpful, like Internal Family Systems (IFS), CBT, DBT, and trauma work—whatever will actually help your specific situation.
What You'll Actually Learn to Do Better Through Couples Therapy
Every couple is different, but here's what most of our clients work on:
Notice when you're getting heated - and hit pause before you say something you regret
Talk about what's bothering you without attacking - so your partner can actually hear you
Say what you need out loud - because hoping they'll "just know" doesn't work
Make your relationship feel good again - not just less bad
Work through disagreements - without one person always giving in or giving up
Have hard conversations without running away - even when it's really uncomfortable
Reconnect after you fight - so arguments actually bring you closer instead of pushing you apart
What Happens When Couples Get Help vs. When They Don't
Without help: The defensive patterns get worse. You drift further apart. The average couple waits six years after first noticing problems before getting help—by then, resentment and hopelessness have usually set in deep.
With therapy: Research from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy shows couples therapy improves relationships for 70-80% of couples. They don't have fewer problems—they just learn how to repair quickly, adapt, and stay emotionally connected through the hard stuff.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy
How Long Does This Take?
We usually recommend starting with weekly sessions, then eventually spreading them out to every other week, then monthly, then just when you need us.
Real talk: You're not likely to see major, lasting change in less than 6 to 12 months of regular therapy. If you're dealing with an affair, addiction, or other complex stuff, it might take longer.
You should set goals with your therapist at the start. Sometimes we need to work on stabilizing things or building basic skills before we can tackle your original goals—but you should always feel like you're making progress. And you should always feel comfortable asking your therapist about how things are going.
What Actually Happens in Sessions
A session might be about something you want to talk about, a pattern or issue your therapist has noticed, or a specific skill or agreement to learn and work on. You and your partner talk together while your therapist acts like a coach—pointing out what's not working, showing you better ways to do it, and helping you both actually hear and understand each other.
In the beginning, you'll talk about your history. Your therapist needs to get to know both of you and understand your relationship so they're not making assumptions about what's going on.
When We'll Recommend Individual Therapy Instead
We always recommend individual therapy first if there's abuse happening. Both people need to commit to creating safety before couples therapy can work. We don't support abusive dynamics.
We have therapists who specialize in abuse and domestic violence and can help individually.
We also don't work with active severe addiction or severe untreated mental illness. We'll help you get support for those issues first so that you can do couples therapy.
All of Your Questions About Couples Therapy
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Yes. At The Relationship Agency, we follow a strict policy on keeping couples and relationship work within the couple. If you've been researching other couples therapists you may have come across a process that starts with an intake with both partners, followed by two separate individual sessions with the couples therapist, and then a fourth session together. This is the Gottman Method protocol, and although our therapists are trained in The Gottman Method, through experience and advanced training we know that it is important to keep the couples work within the system. What do we mean by system? One goal of our Oshawa and Ajax couples therapy is for couples to be operating as a 2 person psychological system, your Ajax couples therapist is NOT in your relationship and is therefore not a part of that system.
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It’s common for one partner to feel hesitant. Our therapists create a space where both people can show up honestly and move at a pace that feels manageable. Book a free 20 minute video consultation to help ease any worries.
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It can add up, yeah. But think of it this way—would you spend $5,000 to save your marriage and build a life with real love in it? Most people would say that's worth it.
Plus, research shows that couples who get help early actually spend less time in therapy overall and save themselves years of misery.
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If you're thinking about divorce, your therapist can help you figure out if that's really the right move. And if you do decide to separate, we can help you do it in a way that feels respectful and healthy—so you can come out of it feeling good about how you handled things.
We can also help you figure out how to co-parent, divide things fairly, and move forward in a good way.
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Most couples wait way too long to get help. If you're thinking about therapy, now is the time. The earlier you deal with problems, the easier they are to fix—and the less time you'll spend in therapy.
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Yes, we have biracial Black couples therapists in Ajax and Oshawa. Our Ajax Black couples therapists love supporting Black marriages and relationships, bringing cultural understanding, safety, and expertise to the couples counselling process. We are also proud to have couples counsellors on our team who are trained in Caribbean Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, an EFT training developed specifically to work with Caribbean people and members of the Caribbean diaspora.
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Yes, we have biracial and Black couples therapists in Ajax and Oshawa who provide couples counselling for interracial couples. Our Oshawa and Ajax Black and biracial couples counsellors are not only highly trained in effective couples therapy methods, but work with an understanding of culture and systems issues paired with lived experience of navigating interracial relationships and the world as biracial people and people of colour.
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We have gay therapists on staff who love working with other queer couples. They understand how identity and relationship dynamics work differently in LGBTQ+ relationships.
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There are many couples who find virtual sessions to be just as helpful. We work to ensure they’re still engaging, personal, and connection-focused.
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Yes! Clients looking for a Pickering therapist or a Pickering couples counsellor find our Ajax location conveniently located. Our Ajax couples therapy office is located at 62 Harwood Ave South, just south of the 401. Our Ajax therapy office has free parking, a beautiful and comfortable waiting room with free coffee and snacks, and the entrance is located next to Coyote Jacks (all-day breakfast!). There are lots of restaurants and cafes nearby, we recommend blocking off some extra time after your Ajax couples therapy appointment to extend it into a date night.
Award-Winning Couples Therapy in Durham Region
Three Best Marriage Counselors two years in a row.
Canada Choice Award Winner 2024 for therapists.
Michelle Garraway, 2024 Distinguished Local Social Worker Award from the Ontario Association of Social Workers for her work in Ajax, Oshawa, and Durham Region.
We've done over 1,294 couples therapy sessions since 2022, helping couples all over Durham Region.
Ready to Get Started?
You've already done the hard part by looking for help. Now just take the next step.
Here's what I want every couple to know: It really is possible to change and heal your relationship. It's going to be uncomfortable sometimes—but that discomfort is how you grow. You don't have to stay stuck in these painful patterns. Anyone can have a good relationship, and everyone deserves one.
Most couples wait way too long. If you've been thinking about therapy, do it now. The sooner you deal with this stuff, the easier it is to fix.
Book Your Free Consultation
Click "Get Started" to fill out our form. We'll get back to you within 24 hours and help match you with the right therapist.
Or just call us: (866) 982-3441
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