Therapist Approved: Date Night in Durham
Written by Cassandra Currado & Michelle Garraway
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or still trying to find that special person, dating in general can be exhausting. Trying to keep it fresh and do something you’ll both enjoy, and not blow the bank - we get it, it’s stressful. You may feel pressure from yourself or others to settle down. You may even feel pressure to keep the romantic spark alive in your relationship. Relationships are important, but it’s just as important to have fun in them! If you live in Pickering, Ajax, Oshawa, Bowmanville and beyond here is our list of therapist recommended date spots, and some expert insight on why dating is important even for long term partners.
For the Singles: Focus on Dating Not Attached to an Outcome
Put down a finger if you’ve done any of the following before or after a date:
Stalked them on social media
Compared and eliminated them to your lengthy list of requirements for a potential partner
Fantasized about what your future would look like together
Rejected someone immediately because they’re not your usual type
Pushed a relationship along because they seem like who you’re “supposed” to be with on paper
Do you have any fingers left? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. There is so much pressure to be in a relationship from family, friends, the media, and even from ourselves, that it’s not surprising so many of us treat dating like a zero sum game that’s only worthwhile if it leads to marriage.
Dating can already feel tiring enough as you meet new people and do the whole small talk here’s my story thing over and over. Try to take some of this pressure off by dating not attached to an outcome (NATO). NATO means you head into your date for what it is, a date - a chance to meet someone new, learn about them, share about yourself, and experience something new together. When you date NATO you can focus on the present moment and create space for you to enjoy this new person without stressing about your future. Dating NATO takes away some of those pressures you and other people may be putting on your dating life and gives you the chance to just have fun. When you have fun in your relationships you can learn more about yourself, your potential partner and what you both want moving forward. Life’s short, so just take it one day at a time and enjoy those little moments along the way.
For the Paired: Reap the Benefits of New Experiences
At the beginning of any relationship the sparks are flying and you tend to experience a wave of excitement. This is what we all know as the honeymoon phase. During the honeymoon phase you’re flooded with feel good chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine. You’re less likely to have arguments with your partner because everything just seems easy. You can’t keep pumping those chemicals out forever and over time this intense excitement naturally decreases. This doesn’t mean that the love isn’t there, but that those initial sparks of infatuation aren’t as strong - it’s totally normal.
The longer you’re in a relationship with someone, the more likely you are to settle into routines and get comfortable with your partner. Routines in relationships can strengthen your bond with your partner, reduce stress and help you create quality time together. However, when we rely on routines too much it can leave our relationships feeling stale and boring.
One of the best ways to improve your relationship and feel excited about your partner again is to introduce novelty - aka try new things with each other.
Researchers found that when people in relationships tried new activities with their partner they were more satisfied with their relationship, felt more secure and in love with each other.
When you try new activities together it gives you both the opportunity to trust and support one another, which brings a new level of intimacy to your relationship.
Passion decreases naturally over time, but it doesn’t have to. Relationships can be an endless source of fun and excitement in your life. Simply trying a new hobby together as a couple can even bring back those sparks you felt in your honeymoon phase.
Date Nights in Durham: Our Recommendations
It’s 2024 and it’s time to get creative with your date nights. It’s time to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try something new with your partner. Though we all love a cozy movie night at home, try switching it up every once in a while. Work together with your partner to brainstorm some new activities and experiences you’d both be open to trying. It could be a cooking class, going to a new restaurant or visiting an art gallery. You never know, you may even learn new things about yourself and your partner in the process.
It can feel overwhelming to figure out how to revamp your date night ideas with so many possibilities. In this post we’ve included different unique and exciting activities you and your partner can try on your next date night. This is a small list of ideas within the Durham Region, but there’s an endless amount of opportunities in the world for you and your partner to explore.
Enjoy the Great Outdoors
Ganaraska Forest Trails - (not technically Durham but worth a mention)
This 11 000 acre forest is a beautiful place to explore the outdoors with your partner. There are year-round activities for you to try including hiking, tree-top trekking, mountain biking, horseback riding, cross-country skiing and snowshoeing. Within the Ganaraska Forest there’s also a portion that’s specifically for motorized activities like off-road motorcycling and ATVing.
Tree Top Eco Adventure Park - Oshawa
This treetop adventure course includes ziplining, suspended bridges, nets, swinging logs and surfboards. Afterwards you can enjoy the beautiful walking trails and nearby attractions.
Express Yourself Through Art
Try signing up for an adult clay-making workshop at The Four Cats Art Studio. This studio offers clay wheel workshops and new clay sculpting classes every month.
Want to learn how to draw or paint? Get together with a group of friends or have a fun couples paint night at this Newcastle art studio. You can also try out the different painting and drawing workshops offered here, with virtual options available.
With exhibitions, classes, and a TON of events like Thursday night live music and even singles speed dating, the Station Gallery can be a repeat spot on your date list.
Unique Cooking Experiences
Tired of cooking the same old meals with your partner? At Dish Play you can break your routine as you learn new cooking skills and how to create the most flavourful dishes. Owned by Food Network Star, Andrea Nicholson, this culinary playground is the perfect place to take a risk and try something new with your partner.
As another option, Longos offers virtual and in-person adult cooking classes. Find the nearest location to you and try one of their many adult classes including: Healthy Italian Cuisine, Plant-Based Living, Pizzas, Calzones and so much more.
Game Night
If you and your partner like to solve puzzles or simply love a good mystery, you may want to add the Durham Escape Rooms to your list of date night ideas. You might have to sneak into the basement to find the secret recipe, or save your missing friend from Doll Island. Choose from their list of 13 escape room stories, with varying levels of difficulty.
A board game cafe that also features craft beer. Choose from their wide selection of board and card games or join in on some RPG at their custom tables.
Brew Wizards Cafe Image Source: A Gamer’s Guide to Durham Region
This arcade gaming lounge and cafe has a wide selection of classic machines and is located in the very walkable 4 corners of downtown Whitby.
Live Entertainment
Yuk Yuk’s Comedy Club - Oshawa
Remember, relationships should be FUN! Watch a standup comedy show at the Yuk Yuk’s Comedy Club and enjoy a good laugh with your partner on your next date night.
Town Hall Theatre - Port Perry
Offering concerts, speaker series, and interactive performances. This month they’re hosting Beethoven Fest and a tribute concert for Gordon Lightfoot, next month you can catch a murder mystery/musical comedy.
Budget Friendly
Lynde Shores Conservation Area - Whitby
Hugely popular for wildlife viewing. Bring some bird seed and patience and the birds will eat right out of your hand.
Festivals and Events - Durham Wide
You can almost always find an event somewhere in the Region. The Purple Woods Conservation Maple Syrup Festival, Bowmanville’s Apple Festival, or Oshawa’s Convergence Music Festival - plus so many more - all offer opportunities to get outside, discover new foods, sounds, and local shops while also enjoying live music, art, and local culture.
Downtown Oshawa during the Convergence Festival. Image source: @downtownoshawa
Music Lovers
A renovation in 2021 turned this venue into a beautiful concert hall with great acoustics. They host fun events and have some great names come through, both familiar and undiscovered. The Sheepdogs are performing later this month.
Find out about your date’s musical tastes as you browse this unique record shop in downtown Oshawa.
Finding new hobbies and activities for you and your partner to try involves a lot of trial-and-error. I hope these ideas give you some inspiration on how you can make date nights feel exciting and new again. If not, try brainstorming your own ideas. What are your interests? What are some things you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t yet?
A cheat code to finding new and interesting things to do on dates is to visit the Durham Tourism website and sign up for their newsletter. You’ll get information about festivals and events and reminders about the great places that already exist within Durham. They even have preplanned day trip itineraries.
If it feels like you and your partner are drifting apart no matter what you try, you may want to consider couple’s counseling. At The Relationship Agency we also offer relationship therapy if you want to work on yourself and understand the relationships in your life. Relationships are essential and can help you thrive in life, so start working on them today and have fun in the process!
