The Best Books About ADHD for Couples
One of the most helpful things you can do as a couple who is struggling with ADHD is to learn about ADHD. If you’re already in therapy these books can help you practice the strategies you’re learning outside of your sessions. And if you’re not quite ready to start therapy, they can help with practical tips to ease some of the pressure until you’re ready to make that call.
Like Oprah always said, “When you know better, you do better”.
Learning about the sneaky ways ADHD damages your relationship will help you work together as a team to fight the problem, not each other.
I promise that at least one of these books will make you feel seen and less alone. If you’re ready to work with a therapist who’s been there herself visit our booking page to set up an intake or a free consultation.
If you’re new to ADHD or suspect it might be in your marriage
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps by Melissa Orlov is essential reading. It’s short, engaging, and packed with information. I promise even the most distractible of minds will find interest in what Orlov has to share. Orlov wrote the book after her own experience being in a marriage where one partner has ADHD. She reviews the most common scenarios in ADHD/non-ADHD pairings, like the parent-child dynamic and the intense initial romance followed by loneliness and separation. If you are in an ADHD/non-ADHD relationship you will feel seen and understood, and a little less alone. The book also offers practical tips and worksheets for couples to start improving communication skills and building understanding. It’s a must-read.
If you like a clinical approach OR if you often feel left out of most ADHD material
For those who like research, The Distracted Couple: The Impact of ADHD on Adult Relationships provides readers with information on how the understanding of ADHD, including diagnosis and impact on relationships, has evolved.
The authors dedicate time to exploring ADHD with black couples, same-sex couples, and women, people who never seem to be spoken directly to in most other ADHD materials (or clinical materials in general).
If you’re looking for practical tips to implement right away
The follow up to Orlov’s first book, The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD emphasizes practical strategies and approaches to improving communication in relationships where one partner has ADHD and one does not. Make sure to read the first book so that you have a solid understanding of what ADHD looks like in relationships before you jump to trying to implement solutions.
For every couple who wants to thrive
Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin’s is the public’s guide to the PACT model of couples therapy - based on neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation. The approach recognizes that “every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict”. Regardless of your neurotype, your relationship will thrive when you’re better able to understand your partners unique brain and how to best be part of a secure “couple bubble”.
Any of these books will help you better understand the impact of ADHD on you and your relationship. If you’re ready to do the work it takes to build a secure relationship that can stand up to the impacts of ADHD, book a consultation or your first counseling session today.
