Written by Cassandra Curado

Negative thoughts, though a normal way to evaluate your experiences, can become an issue as they engrain themselves within your mind and form into your core beliefs. Having negative core beliefs impact how you view yourself, your relationships and the world around you. As these negative beliefs persist you can experience an array of harmful effects that can contribute to the experience of depression and anxiety. This blog post will give you some insight on what a negative belief is, how negative beliefs can undermine your quality of life, and how you can rewrite these negative beliefs to start living the fulfilling life you deserve.

Negative Beliefs: The Self-Reinforcing Cycle of Negativity

When you have a thought, this is your inner dialogue communicating to you what your mind is thinking based on your experiences. Oftentime our thoughts can seem so small and insignificant when we have so many of them pop into our mind each day. However, when we start to have recurring negative thoughts, these thoughts can quickly form into our core beliefs. Most core beliefs begin to form in childhood, but they can be formed through any life experience up into adulthood. You can think of your beliefs as the glasses you view your life through. When you hold positive beliefs about yourself and the world around you, you’re looking through a pair of rose-coloured glasses. However, when you have negative beliefs you’re trapped behind this gloomy, pessimistic, hopeless lens that you use to interpret your experiences.

Common Negative Beliefs

I’m not good enough.
I’ll never succeed.
I don’t deserve love.
I don’t deserve happiness.
I’m a burden.
I’m alone.

As you read these common negative beliefs, just take a moment to hear how limiting these are. Such short and simple sentences, yet they can have a huge impact on you and the choices you make. Your thoughts and beliefs are so powerful and often self-reinforcing. Research suggests that negative thoughts can contribute to the development and maintenance of depression. In other words, you have recurring negative thoughts about yourself - “I can’t do this”. These thoughts then form into the core beliefs you hold about yourself - “I’m a failure and will never succeed”. These beliefs then increase the likelihood that you’ll experience symptoms of depression, which then reinforces these negative core beliefs. As you can see, what seems to be a simple thought you have about yourself can actually trap you within this self-reinforcing cycle of negativity and depression, and impact all aspects of your life.

The Harmful Effects of Negative Beliefs

Limits you from reaching your goals
Reduces your self-esteem and sense of self-worth
Lead your life through your insecurities, mistrust, and fears of abandonment
Begin to self-sabotage in your relationships and opportunities
Impacts your relationships - expect the worst from others, argumentative
Onset of depression, anxiety, and/or other symptoms of mental health concerns

Take Action - Identify Your Negative Beliefs

Though the cycle of negative beliefs sounds like a horrible never-ending carousel ride, there is a way to break the cycle, reframe your beliefs and achieve the fulfilling life you deserve. The first step in this journey is to identify your negative beliefs. If you’re reading this blog post you may already realize that you have negative beliefs, but what now? Identifying your negative beliefs is more than saying - Yeah, I feel like garbage about myself. Instead, try to pay attention to the patterns of negative beliefs you have. Something as simple as writing these beliefs in a journal as they pop into your mind can help you understand what situations are triggering these beliefs to take over. As you reflect on your negative beliefs, you can find a common theme and understand what needs to be reframed. Is it that you feel like garbage about yourself, or are you holding high expectations of yourself, fearing failure, and doubting your abilities? Where are these fears coming from?

How to Rewrite Your Negative Beliefs

Unfortunately, as humans we tend to focus on the negative things that happen to us more than the positive. This is because at one point in history, being able to recognize threatening things in your environment was necessary for survival. In some ways this may still be true for us today, but even then we tend to let the slightest negative interaction influence our life. I can guarantee that no one remembers that you stumbled on your words in your highschool science presentation, yet for some reason this experience still haunts you with shame and self-doubt.

Negative beliefs are powerful, which can make them challenging to rewrite, but it is possible. Through conscious thoughts, reflection, and support you can break the cycle of negativity and start leading your life as the worthy person you are. Here are some ways you can challenge your negative beliefs, and embrace the positivity in your life.

Put Positive Moments on a Pedestal

Since we naturally tend to latch on to negative experiences more easily and forget those positive moments, take the time to cherish each positive experience you have. This could be something as simple as having a stranger smile and ask how your day is going, or your boss thanking you for getting the monthly reports in on time. Learn to celebrate you and the positivity in your life!

Challenge and Replace Your Negative Beliefs

Next time your negative beliefs are in the driver’s seat, challenge them by reflecting on these questions. Are these beliefs true or false - what’s the evidence? Is there another way I can interpret this experience? What’s the worst thing that could happen - what’s the best thing? What can I learn from this about myself?

Instead of passively accepting a negative belief, think of reasons why you know it isn’t true. Instead of “I’m alone,” challenge this with “I know I’m not alone, because I have my family.” Instead of “I’m a failure and will never succeed,” replace this with “I know I’m not a failure because my abilities got me to where I am today, and I’m proud of myself for that.” It may sound pointless, but just remember how powerful those simple negative phrases are; replacing them with positive self-talk can be just as powerful.

Practice Self-Care and Self-Love

When you get trapped behind your negative beliefs it can feel almost impossible to experience joy. Next time you’re stuck in the never-ending loop of negativity, disrupt this cycle by redirecting with a new activity. For example, going for a walk, reading a book, or doing something that you typically enjoy. As you begin to practice self-care and self-love each day you’ll feel refreshed as you begin to nourish your mental and emotional health.

Get Support

Working through your negative beliefs and the painful emotions they cause can feel overwhelming and difficult to go through on your own. At The Relationship Agency, we have therapists that specialize in supporting clients through their negative beliefs and related depression and/or anxiety. Your therapist will ensure you are well-supported as you identify your negative beliefs, challenge them and rewrite your story with a positive lens. Doing so will help you feel fulfilled in all aspects of your life. Book a free consultation today, or contact us if you have any questions.

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What Does It Mean to Rewrite Your Negative Beliefs?