The Difference Between Individual and Couples Counselling: Which is right for you?
I sometimes have clients contact me wanting to do both individual and couples work, or not sure which one they might want. With so many therapists and types of therapy available it can be hard to know what’s best, and making a decision through the fog of conflict or sadness is even harder. There are some distinct differences between individual and couples therapy, and knowing a bit about the purpose of each can help you decide which path to take.
Individual counseling and couples counseling are two distinct forms of therapy that address different issues and dynamics. While both approaches can be beneficial for addressing mental health concerns and improving relationships, it’s important to understand the key differences between the two in order to determine which type of therapy is best for you and your needs.
Individual Counseling
Individual counseling is a form of therapy that focuses on the individual’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This type of therapy is typically conducted on a one-on-one basis between the client and the therapist, and is designed to help the individual work through their personal issues and challenges. Individual counseling can be beneficial for addressing a wide range of mental health concerns, including depression, anxiety, trauma, and relationship issues. In my experience, individual counseling for relationships might be the better choice if:
You find you struggle with all kinds of relationships (romantic, family, friends, colleagues)
You’re in a relationship and aren’t sure whether you want to continue
You’re single and have worries or concerns that might impact getting into a relationship
You know you want to end your relationship and are looking for support
You’re looking to better understand how your relationship past is impacting your present
Couples Counseling
Couples counseling, on the other hand, is a form of therapy that focuses on the dynamics and communication within a romantic relationship. This type of therapy is typically conducted with both partners present and is designed to help couples work through conflicts and improve their communication and relationship. Couples counseling can be beneficial for addressing issues such as communication breakdown, infidelity, and conflicts over values and goals.
The modalities (method of therapy) used should be different in individual versus couple therapy. While most of us therapists take an ‘eclectic’ approach (using approaches and techniques from different modalities depending on the client’s needs) I strongly believe couples counselors must have additional specific training in a couples approach and work from that basis.
Individual Therapy Modalities
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Narrative Therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)
Existential Therapy
and many more! (Google tells me there are more than 50 types)
Couples Therapy Modalities
Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)
and a few more (but definitely not 50)
So, what’s the main difference between individual and couples counseling?
Essentially, individual counseling is focused on the individual’s personal issues, while couples counseling is focused on the dynamics and communication within the relationship. While both approaches can be helpful for addressing mental health concerns, it’s important to choose the type of therapy that best fits your specific needs and goals.
When I work with a couple the relationship is my client.
That means there’s no picking sides and no working on each other. You, the couple, will do the heavy lifting, but we will all work together as a team to improve the relationship.
Overall, both individual and couples counseling can be valuable tools for addressing mental health concerns and improving relationships. By understanding the key differences between the two approaches, you can determine which type of therapy is best suited to your needs and goals.
